|During March I'm participating|
in the 9th Annual Slice of Life
Story Challenge sponsored by the
fabulous team at Two Writing Teachers.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Forget, Forgetting, Forgotten, Forgetfulness #SOL16 Day 13
Take Saturday for example:
First I went to the gym. I came home and wrote my slice for Day 12. I vacuumed. I cleaned two bathrooms. I jumped in the shower---and remembered. I had a 1:00 p.m. hair appointment, and it was 12:45 p.m.
Since I was rushed for time, I hurried down the road at the same time a cop arrived on the same road. Yes, I got a ticket. This time my forgetfulness will cost me $90.00. I deserved the ticket, but I would not have been speeding had I been remembering.
Sometimes the list of the forgotten seems longer than the list of the remembered.
I worry more about my inability to recall information at work. The titles of works and authors frequently slip my mind--although momentarily--these days.
The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read, never even heard of, ....
This can be a problem as I have a new prep this year. I feel vulnerable and insecure when I can't remember the page number for a passage I want to share or discuss in AP Lit and Comp. Will I seem unprepared? Will I seem stupid? My students are smart. One is a National Merit Finalist. They don't miss much, and they often remember what I can't.
These days I struggle to learn the names of students. I soon forget the names of most once the trimester ends. I see them in the halls and recognize faces, but I can't remember most of their names.
I know there are parents I meet who wonder why I can't remember their names or which child they belong to. If the parent is someone I met at school and see at the gym, my memory has no chance of recall.
As a young student I memorized. That's the way we learned in the 60s and 70s. I memorized bible verses at church, poems at school, historical documents in history. I've lost much of that skill. I see my short-term memory skills slipping away.
Long ago you kissed the names of the nine muses goodbye
and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,
something else is slipping away...
Forgetting leads to fear. I'll retire in a couple of years (2 or 3). I've longed to move to a warmer climate. I've dreamed of retiring in an urban, walkable city. I want to live on a beach and drink umbrella drinks.
Now I worry that I won't remember my way around if I move to an unfamiliar place. Already I sometimes forget I'm going to school and not to the gym. Sometimes I forget appointments. These are minor memory transgressions.
But as I watch my neighbor next door forget. As I watch her forgetting. As I observe that she's forgotten which house is hers. I know forgetfulness crouches in the dark recesses of my mind, awaiting an opportunity to steal my memories.
Whatever it is you are struggling to remember,
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue...
I don't worry about not being remembered. I worry about remembering. I don't concern myself with colleagues and former students forgetting me. I'm concerned about my forgetting them.